Zelda and Ganondorf's Lust filled Marriage
by Judyfr4nk3nbutt90
Summary: Newlywed and full of lust, Zelda and Ganon face their future.
1. Chapter 1

H fi k, n vagyok v gre vissza az n utam a Baham kra! A t j ott volt, olyan sz p, hogy ez inspir lt, hogy meg rjam ezt fanfiction. Mondd el, ha azt gondolod, tov bbra is!  
-Judy

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Zelda and Ganondorf's Loveless, Lust filled Marriage

by Judith Frankenbutt

Zelda moaned in her sleep as she rolled over on her and Ganon's bed. They had been married for nearly a weekend and boy, were they the most miserable newlyweds ever. They avoided eachother as much as possible, but for the public they'd always kiss, maybe hug too if they could stand it. The facade was sweet. Ganon often went out and bought Zelda many large and expensive things, though they did not impress the princess she would end up fucking the dark king with a lust-filled frenzy. Ganon could just stand there, numb and lost in Zelda's relentless grinding.

The unhappy couple were currently asleep well Zelda was. Ganon was lying besides her, scowling as he watched her sleep. He chuckled sinisterly when she moaned and rolled over on her left side, her backside facing him. Ganon took his hand and cupped Zelda's ass and then up to her neck where he pinched her cheeks hard. Zelda moaned once more before her eyes shot open.

She rubbed the sleep out of them and then scowled up at Ganon, a tired grimmace appearing on her face. Ganon sneered back and kissed her neck lustfully. Zelda shook her head and pressed her face into his chest. Ganon snorted but wrapped his arms around Zelda and held her possessively. "Morning, bitch," Ganon hissed, sitting them up.

"Morning, dickhead," Zelda spat back, sighing with misery at the contact of his clammy bare skin. No, they didn't fuck last night and they were both as miserable as ever. Ganon wore nothing to bed, Zelda thought it was simply disgusting. She, on the other hand, slept in an elborate nightdress that fell just below her knees. It was impractical and expensive, and that's how Zelda liked it.

Suddenly Epona started galloping toward them at top speed.

TO BE CONTINUED...?


	2. Chapter 2  Tingle's Thoughtful Gift

Chapter Two Notes: Hai guise! Here is the next part! Don't take candy from strangers!  
Love, Judy!

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The peasants of Hyrule were elated. The cause of their celebratory mood was not the recent royal wedding, however it was linked to the cause of Epona's sudden appearance in the aforementioned royal couple's bedchambers. For, Tingle and Shiek, having just returned from the moon, had brought back a special wedding gift.

It was a giant fucking trampoline. Tingle placed it right in the center of Hyrule Castle Town's ruins while Shiek masturbated furiously. Though it would have been kind for them to let the filthy masses use the bouncy platform free of charge, Tingle's unceasing lust for rupees would not allow for it. Thus only the richest of Hyrule's citizens could afford the seventy thousand rupee bouncing fee.

And oh, how the masses bounced! No matter how many people crowded on to the trampoline, it wouldn't break. It was also impervious to fire, ice, lightning, bees and to his great disappointment, Sheik's huge dick. Truly, Tingle's trampoline was the launch pad of the gods.

So it was that after a night of bouncing, grinding and revelry, just as dawn was beginning to break, Tingle decided he had raked in enough money to be generous for about five minutes. The dainty little man invited the less wealthy Hyrulians the chance to use his trampoline... for only a mere twenty rupees a bounce!  
The events that transpired next occurred quickly and without warning. Malon, simple ranch girl that she was, was terribly excited to use the trampoline, if only for the 3 bounces she could afford. The girl was so excited, in fact, that she began to sing. This would not be so extraordinary except for a simple fact: Malon knows only one song.

Mere moments after the lovely ginger had opened her mouth, a certain horse was catapulted through the air to crash land through several expensive stained-glass castle windows.

Hearing curses both obscene and arcane barked from the shattered windows, Tingle deduced that it was a grand morning to leave the country on holiday. He carefully packed up his rupees, inflated his balloon and drifted away as speedily and possible.

Shiek, still way too excited at not being on the moon, continued to run around the ruined town, waving his impressive member at anyone who crossed his path.

After herding a bewildered Epona from the royal bedchamber, a large breakfast and several small bathroom related skirmishes with her new husband, Zelda decided to fucking go shopping.

TO BE CONTINUED?


	3. Chapter 3

AN: I love my bicycle. It runs on the crushed dreams of android slaves.

-Judy

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It was quite late when Zelda returned from her shopping trip. She felt refreshed from pumping her royalties back into the economy.

The Lake Hylia strip mall had been one of Ganondorf's wedding gifts to her. She had demanded it, sarcastically, one night. And either Ganon hadn't picked up on her sarcasm, or he was being ironic himself. She wasn't sure, but she didn't really care. The taint of commercialism made her feel... sexy.

Sexy, sexy materialistic commercialism. Ooooh yessssss, Zelda felt flushed, hot and bothered. Gosh, a shower would be great right about now, she thought to herself.

Flinging her useless purchases on a chair, where they would be forgotten for several weeks, Zelda kicked off her boots and made a bee-line to the master bathroom. She wanted that hot, steamy shower. SO. BAD.

Frantic, nearly mad with shower-lust, Zelda tore her clothes from her body. They fell to the floor in a depressed bunch, knowing they would never again feel the touch of their princess' soft skin. Now naked, Zelda hopped into the glass-encased shower, failing to notice it was not unoccupied in her rush.

"Oh hi there" Ganon mewed as Zelda collided with his naked, manly manly body. Zelda gaped, wide eyed. Darn it all, she had nearly forgotten she was married. There went that happiness out the window.

"Out. Now." the princess commanded with a dark voice, "Shower. MINE."

Before Ganondorf could protest otherwise, he found himself forcefully kicked out of the steamy water and skidding on his ass into Zelda's discarded clothes. The princess slammed the glass door as hard as she dared without breaking the damn thing.

Shell-shocked, Ganon could only sit and drip-dry as Zelda had her dark pleasures with the steamy, sexy, hot shower. Her moans increasing in decibel every second. He worried about her sometimes, he really did.

"Oooh... ooooooohhhhhhh... OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH GODDESSES~!"

What happened next... could only be described as MAGIC. Not magic, but all caps MAGIC.

A... RIVER of cum erupted from the dainty princess, filling the enclosed shower, dripping through the cracks in the seams. And Zelda SWAM in the magical cum. "Ooooooh..." She swooned.

Ganondorf acted quickly to extract his unconscious wife from her own pool of magic cum, rinsed her off, wrapped her in a towel and carted her off to bed, cradling her like a precious newborn. "You sweet, stupid thing," he cooed, brushing a lock of hair from her face with the back of his large, dark, manly finger.

TO BEES CONTINUEDED.


	4. Chapter 4 Once and Future Redead King

AN: 4am is the best time for writing. This is a scientific fact.

-Judy

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Ganondorf awoke later that night, startled by the lack of blankets and pussy on his side of the bed. Zelda was drooling and thrashing in her sleep. Ganondorf, in dutiful husbandly fashion, nudged her until she rolled off the bed. "Zelda, babycakes, wake the fuck up! What the literal fuck is wrong with you?"

Zelda, covered in sweat and her own piss, glared blearily up at him. "I had a motherfucking nightmare. Some fucking fog and shit invaded the fucking castle, and people could do jack shit to get rid of it. Then, it just fucking up and vanished."

"You and your fucking nightmares."

"Fuck you, my dreams are fucking predictions! From the fucking GODDESSES! They are 200% accurate! Shit's going to get real 'round here."

"That's a load of horse shit and you know it," Ganondorf suggested. Truthfully, he knew he'd never convince the ever-paranoid Zelda of that. Her dreams tended to be on the apocalyptic side most nights, and generally were to be taken very lightly. "Go back to fucking sleep, if anything does happen we'll get a war orphan to fix it."

"Fine with me. Thank goddesses for expendable war orphans!"  
Zelda climbed back in bed and snuggled close to Ganondorf briefly, before shoving him onto the floor. She closed her eyes and fell into a dead sleep.

Around noon the next day, Zelda felt herself being groped by a servant.  
"Go fuck yourself?" she mumbled sleepily.  
The servant looked hurt and perplexed as she withdrew her hand. "Your Highness, I have... disturbing news. Your father, the King, has risen from the dead."

The previously deceased King shuffled into the royal bedchambers, past the quivvering servant.

Ganondorf and Zelda looked at the redead king in disbelief. Then they simultaneously fell into each other's arms, laughing hysterically.  
Gradually the royal couple's guffaws settled, as uncomfortable silence took hold of them.  
"Well," Ganondorf muttered. "This is rather awkward."

TO BE CONTINUED...!


	5. Chapter 5 Expendable War Orphans

AN: Saw my cousin-clone Sandy last week, she got on my case for not updating this story! There's no arguing with a Frankenstorm, let me tell you!  
So here's your Zel/Gan fix, courtesy of Sandy.  
-Judy

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Chapter 5: "Expendable War Orphans"

The flustered and quite naked royal couple managed to coax the redead King of Hyrule out of their royal bed chambers, at least long enough for Ganondorf to grab a dressing gown. And for Zelda to steal said dressing gown. And shove Ganon out into the hallway with the recently expired and ressurected ex-King, and the shell-shocked shervant.

"So... how's it going?" Locked out of the bedroom for the time being, Ganondorf attempted to make light conversation with his undead father-in-law.

"BEWARE," said the corpsey king, "BEWARE FOR I BRING TIDINGS OF DOOM."

"Oh well isn't that terribly interesting," Ganon interjected smoothly, "I used to be in the doom business, you know. Not so much these days, what with the wife and all..."

"DOOM, FOOLISH USURPER!" bellowed the wraithly ex-royal, "TAKE NOT LIGHTLY THIS WARNING, LEST YE BE THROWN AS FODDER INTO THE ABYSSAL MAW!" Gee, the old man sure seemed pretty upset. As upset as a slightly decayed stiff could be, at least. "DOOM! BEWARE!"

Zelda emerged from the bed chambers at last, giving her still-nude husband a chilling glance. "Would this doom have anything to do with castle render-fog, father?" she asked, her completely 100% prophetic nightmare not really so fresh in her mind.

"NAY, DAUGHTER."

"Aw, poo."

"NAY, THIS DOOM IS NAUGHT TO DO WITH FOG-BUT ALL TO DO WITH EXPENDABLE WAR ORPHANS." creaked the king as half his face fell to the carpet with a nice squish.

Ganondorf and Zelda met eachothers gaze, a lump of ice forming in the pits of their married stomaches. "War orphans, daddy? Expendable ones?"

"THE VERY ONES. BEWARE!"

"But, pops, I mean, we're talking about expendable war orphans here," Ganondorf chuckled nervously, "Seriously, what kind of threat could they pose to us?"

"A VERY REAL ONE," the redead king had obviously had enough dicking around, "HEED MY WARNING, TREACHEROUS DAUGHTER AND FOOLISH USURPER SON! BEWARE THE EXPENDABLE WAR ORPHAN! BEWARE!"

Otherworldly flames began to envelope the late king as the suns rays crept over the windowsills.

"But, father!"

"BEWARE!" the king motioned his farewell as he faded into hellish smoke, his decayed voice becoming but an ashen wisper, "NOW THEN, I WONDER WHAT'S FOR DINNER." Morning blossomed, and he was gone.

Zelda and Ganondorf stood frozen in place, eyes locked on the place the king was no longer standing. Only the relentless growling of their royal stomaches broke them from their thoughts.

TO BE CONTINUED!


End file.
